I’m No Grey Girl




I’m not the kind of girl who can handle making choices. I’m not. I wish I was though. I have this tendency to over think every decision I have to make. I guess I look too far into the future and I sit there and think about how this one little choice will affect my future life. Each choice you make has two paths and I find it hard to chose which way to go. I wish there was an option where before you made a decision, you could see yourself in the future and see if this could be the right decision. And if you don’t like the outcome, you make a different choice. Life would be so much easier then. You see, my problem is that I’m no grey girl. I see things in black and white. They say black and white is boring. They say living life in black and white limits your choices. They say that those who live in black and white only do so because it’s easier to protect their hearts when you eliminate the in between. But to be honest I don’t like what they say. I don’t see grey for no other reason than that’s just the way I am. I like being able to see things one way or the other. Seeing the in between would make everything difficult. You would be close to making a decision but the grey would be holding you back. Grey is safe. Grey is between two choices and if grey is between two choices then seeing the outcomes of the choices would be red. I said before that life would be easier if you could see the outcome of decisions. But looking back on that, I don’t want to see red. Yes it would be easier but it wouldn’t be worth it. Every choice leads you to where you are supposed to be. You can thank fate for that. Don’t mess with fate. Just listen to your gut or your little voice or whatever speaks to you and go with whatever feels right in the moment. Don’t worry too much about how it will affect your future because maybe one day you’ll be looking back at these moments and these memories and you’ll thank yourself. You will thank yourself for having the bravery and courage and motivation to make certain choices. As for me, I either eat too much or starve myself. Sleep for 12 hours or have insomniac nights. Fall in love very hard or hate passionately. I’m an outgoing introvert and a hopeless romantic who is also a realist. I want to be happy but think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy yet still ambitious. I don’t like myself yet I love myself. I say I don’t care but I really do. I  crave attention yet reject it when it comes my way. I don’t know what grey is. I never did.

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